“In the office, vulgarity similarly functions as near-harassment, even when a raunchy joke is genuinely appreciated by its hearers. Every moment of crudity normalizes sex-as-assault, if only at the level of making someone else uncomfortable.
C. S. Lewis, in Mere Christianity, distinguishes between raunchiness as a sin against chastity (when it is “in order to excite lust in themselves or others”) and as a sin against charity (“in order to shock or embarrass others”). I’d add that sometimes it is a sin against conscience, as when people engage in depravity to maintain a callus on their soul. Friends who play Cards Against Humanity (“a party game for terrible people”) will learn to dismiss the small still voice of conscience as mere squeamishness.
The more we embrace vulgarity and the breaking of taboos as liberating, the more predators will flourish. In their wake, more well-intentioned people will do violence to their friends and colleagues, thinking that because their behavior was normal it was safe.”
I wish my coworkers would read this. I work an all male blue collar job and crude talk is out of control. The only thing worse than the sex talk Is probably the outrageous racial jokes my African American coworkers make at each others expense. If I said any of the things they say to each other they would have every right to beat me up and have me fired. And I’m not talking about the “N” word either. They are joking of course but wow! I just put my head down and wait for it to be over.
I loved your conclusion in this article, especially for people in leadership:
“Supervisors, who have less to fear, should be particularly attentive to friendly-but-foul talk that makes their office a haven for harassers. Standing up to vulgarity is an act of stewardship, a chance to beat the bounds of your community, praying for all those who have been entrusted to you.”
So beautiful. And good leadership is so beautiful.
What made me think of this thing you wrote last year?
Hearing the beginning of Ruth 2 yesterday – Boaz’ leadership where he encourages Ruth to glean in his field, saying, “Have I not commanded the young men not to touch you?”